FUNERAL QUOTES

• Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.
  ~ Voltaire ~
• Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.
  ~ Voltaire ~
• They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
  ~ Garrison Keillor ~
• I've been to many funerals of funny people, and they're some of the funniest days you'll ever have, because the emotions run high.
  ~ Albert Brooks ~
• I was brought up by very witty people who were dealing with quite difficult things: disease and death... I was brought up by people who tended to giggle at funerals.
  ~ Emma Thompson ~
• I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
  ~ Steven Wright ~
• I was fantasising about my own death, I started thinking what my funeral would be like and what music would be played, I was at that level of insanity.
  ~ Billy Corgan ~
• I was fantasising about my own death, I started thinking what my funeral would be like and what music would be played, I was at that level of insanity.
  ~ Billy Corgan ~
• I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing.
  ~ Chuck Palahniuk ~
• I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing.
  ~ Chuck Palahniuk ~
• I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing.
  ~ Chuck Palahniuk ~
• I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
  ~ Erma Bombeck ~
• Old age: I fall asleep during the funerals of my friends.
  ~ Mason Cooley ~
• When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.
  ~ Henry Ward Beecher ~
• I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
  ~ Mark Twain ~