- 1. How Jack Found That Beans May Go Back On A Chap
Without the slightest basis
For hypochondriasis
A widow had forebodings which a cloud around her flung,
And with expression cynical
...
- 2. The Iconoclastic Rustic And The Apropos Acorn
Reposing 'neath some spreading trees,
A populistic bumpkin
Amused himself by offering these
Reflections on a pumpkin:
...
- 3. The Unusual Goose And The Imbecilic Woodcutter
A woodcutter bought him a gander,
Or at least that was what he supposed,
As a matter of fact, 'twas a slander
As a later occurrence disclosed;
...
- 4. How Jack Made The Giants Uncommonly Sore
Of all the ill-fated
Boys ever created
Young Jack was the wretchedest lad:
An emphatic, erratic,
...
- 5. How A Princess Was Wooed From Habitual Sadness
In days of old the King of Saxe
Had singular opinions,
For with a weighty battle-axe
He brutalized his minions,
...
- 6. How A Girl Was Too Reckless Of Grammar By Far
Matilda Maud Mackenzie frankly hadn't any chin,
Her hands were rough, her feet she turned invariably in;
Her general form was German,
By which I mean that you
...
- 7. The Impecunious Cricket And The Frugal Ant
There was an ant, a spinster ant,
Whose virtues were so many
That she became intolerant
Of those who hadn't any:
...
- 8. How The Babes In The Wood Showed They Couldn't Be Beaten
A man of kind and noble mind
Was H. Gustavus Hyde.
'Twould be amiss to add to this
At present, for he died,
...
- 9. The Inhuman Wolf And The Lamb Sans Gene
A gaunt and relentless wolf, possessed
Of a quite insatiable thirst,
Once paused at a stream to drink and rest,
And found that, bound on a similar quest,
...
