I've quenched my lamp, I struck it in that start
Which every limb convulsed, I heard it fallÂ
The crash blent with my sleep, I saw depart
Its light, even as I woke, on yonder wall;
Over against my bed, there shone a gleam
Strange, faint, and mingling also with my dream.
It sunk, and I am wrapt in utter gloom;
How far is night advanced, and when will day
Retinge the dusk and livid air with bloom,
And fill this void with warm, creative ray ?
Would I could sleep again till, clear and red,
Morning shall on the mountain-tops be spread!
I'd call my women, but to break their sleep,
Because my own is broken, were unjust;
They've wrought all day, and well-earned slumbers steep
Their labours in forgetfulness, I trust;
Let me my feverish watch with patience bear,
Thankful that none with me its sufferings share.
Yet, Oh, for light ! one ray would tranquilise
My nerves, my pulses, more than effort can;
I'll draw my curtain and consult the skies:
These trembling stars at dead of night look wan,
Wild, restless, strange, yet cannot be more drear
Than this my couch, shared by a nameless fear.
All blackÂone great cloud, drawn from east to west,
Conceals the heavens, but there are lights below;
Torches burn in Jerusalem, and cast
On yonder stony mount a lurid glow.
I see men stationed there, and gleaming spears;
A sound, too, from afar, invades my ears.
Dull, measured, strokes of axe and hammer ring
From street to street, not loud, but through the night
Distinctly heardÂand some strange spectral thing
Is now uprearedÂand, fixed against the light
Of the pale lamps; defined upon that sky,
It stands up like a column, straight and high.
I see it allÂI know the dusky signÂ
A cross on Calvary, which Jews uprear
While Romans watch; and when the dawn shall shine
Pilate, to judge the victim will appear,
Pass sentenceÂyield him up to crucify;
And on that cross the spotless Christ must die.
Dreams, then, are trueÂfor thus my vision ran;
Surely some oracle has been with me,
The gods have chosen me to reveal their plan,
To warn an unjust judge of destiny:
I, slumbering, heard and saw; awake I know,
Christ's coming death, and Pilate's life of woe.
I do not weep for PilateÂwho could prove
Regret for him whose cold and crushing sway
No prayer can soften, no appeal can move;
Who tramples hearts as others trample clay,
Yet with a faltering, an uncertain tread,
That might stir up reprisal in the dead.
Forced to sit by his side and see his deeds;
Forced to behold that visage, hour by hour,
In whose gaunt lines, the abhorrent gazer reads
A triple lust of gold, and blood, and power;
A soul whom motives, fierce, yet abject, urge
Rome's servile slave, and Judah's tyrant scourge.
How can I love, or mourn, or pity him ?
I, who so long my fettered hands have wrung;
I, who for grief have wept my eye-sight dim;
Because, while life for me was bright and young,
He robbed my youthÂhe quenched my life's fair rayÂ
He crushed my mind, and did my freedom slay.
And at this hourÂalthough I be his wifeÂ
He has no more of tenderness from me
Than any other wretch of guilty life;
Less, for I know his household privacyÂ
I see him as he isÂwithout a screen;
And, by the gods, my soul abhors his mien !
Has he not sought my presence, dyed in bloodÂ
Innocent, righteous blood, shed shamelessly ?
And have I not his red salute withstood ?
Aye,Âwhen, as erst, he plunged all Galilee
In dark bereavementÂin affliction sore,
Mingling their very offerings with their gore.
Then came heÂin his eyes a serpent-smile,
Upon his lips some false, endearing word,
And, through the streets of Salem, clanged the while,
His slaughtering, hacking, sacrilegious swordÂ
And I, to see a man cause men such woe,
Trembled with ireÂI did not fear to show.
And now, the envious Jewish priests have brought
JesusÂwhom they in mockery call their kingÂ
To have, by this grim power, their vengeance wrought;
By this mean reptile, innocence to sting.
Oh ! could I but the purposed doom avert,
And shield the blameless head from cruel hurt!
Accessible is Pilate's heart to fear,
Omens will shake his soul, like autumn leaf;
Could he this night's appalling vision hear,
This just man's bonds were loosed, his life were safe,
Unless that bitter priesthood should prevail,
And make even terror to their malice quail.
Yet if I tell the dreamÂbut let me pause.
What dream ? Erewhile the characters were clear,
Graved on my brainÂat once some unknown cause
Has dimmed and rased the thoughts, which now appear,
Like a vague remnant of some by-past scene;Â
Not what will be, but what, long since, has been.
I suffered many things, I heard foretold
A dreadful doom for Pilate,Âlingering woes,
In far, barbarian climes, where mountains cold
Built up a solitude of trackless snows,
There, he and grisly wolves prowled side by side,
There he lived famishedÂthere methought he died;
But not of hunger, nor by malady;
I saw the snow around him, stained with gore;
I said I had no tears for such as he,
And, lo ! my cheek is wetÂmine eyes run o'er;
I weep for mortal suffering, mortal guilt,
I weep the impious deedÂthe blood self-spilt.
More I recall not, yet the vision spread
Into a world remote, an age to comeÂ
And still the illumined name of Jesus shed
A light, a clearness, through the enfolding gloomÂ
And still I saw that sign, which now I see,
That cross on yonder brow of Calvary.
What is this Hebrew Christ ? To me unknown,
His lineageÂdoctrineÂmissionÂyet how clear,
Is God-like goodness, in his actions shewn !
How straight and stainless is his life's career !
The ray of Deity that rests on him,
In my eyes makes Olympian glory dim.
The world advances, Greek, or Roman rite
Suffices not the inquiring mind to stay;
The searching soul demands a purer light
To guide it on its upward, onward way;
Ashamed of sculptured godsÂReligion turns
To where the unseen Jehovah's altar burns.
Our faith is rottenÂall our rites defiled,
Our temples sullied, and methinks, this man,
With his new ordinance, so wise and mild,
Is come, even as he says, the chaff to fan
And sever from the wheat; but will his faith
Survive the terrors of to-morrow's death ?
* * * * *
I feel a firmer trustÂa higher hope
Rise in my soulÂit dawns with dawning day;
Lo ! on the Temple's roofÂon Moriah's slope
Appears at length that clear, and crimson ray,
Which I so wished for when shut in by night;
Oh, opening skies, I hail, I bless your light !
Part, clouds and shadows ! glorious Sun appear !
Part, mental gloom ! Come insight from on high !
Dusk dawn in heaven still strives with daylight clear,
The longing soul, doth still uncertain sigh.
Oh ! to behold the truthÂthat sun divine,
How doth my bosom pant, my spirit pine !
This day, time travails with a mighty birth,
This day, Truth stoops from heaven and visits earth,
Ere night descends, I shall more surely know
What guide to follow, in what path to go;
I wait in hopeÂI wait in solemn fear,
The oracle of GodÂthe soleÂtrue GodÂto hear.
Pilate's Wife's Dream
Charlotte Bronta<<
(1)
Poem topics: autumn, birth, cloud, dark, destiny, feel, freedom, grief, heart, innocence, lust, sky, smile, snow, solitude, time, wife, women, head, innocent, Print This Poem , Rhyme Scheme
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