When you-ve knocked about the country-been away from home for years;
When the past, by distance softened, nearly fills your eyes with tears-
You are haunted oft, wherever or however you may roam,
By a fancy that you ought to go and see the folks at home.
You forget the family quarrels-little things that used to jar-
And you think of how they-ll worry-how they wonder where you are;
You will think you served them badly, and your own part you-ll condemn,
And it strikes you that you-ll surely be a novelty to them,
For your voice has somewhat altered, and your face has somewhat changed-
And your views of men and matters over wider fields have ranged.
Then it-s time to save your money, or to watch it (how it goes!);
Then it-s time to get a -Gladstone- and a decent suit of clothes;
Then it-s time to practise daily with a hair-brush and a comb,
Till you drop in unexpected on the folks and friends at home.
When you-ve been at home for some time, and the novelty-s worn off,
And old chums no longer court you, and your friends begin to scoff;
When -the girls- no longer kiss you, crying -Jack! how you have changed!-
When you-re stale to your relations, and their manner seems estranged ;
When the old domestic quarrels, round the table thrice a day,
Make it too much like the old times-make you wish you-d stayed away,
When, in short, you-ve spent your money in the fulness of your heart,
And your clothes are getting shabby . . . Then it-s high time to depart.