HE 'S worth a million dollars and you think he should be glad,
Because you want for money you believe he can't be sad;
His name is in the papers nearly every day or so,
If he wants a trip to Europe he can pack his grip and go,
But he's really heavy-hearted and he often wears a frown,
For his daughter contradicts him and his new wife calls him down.

He's not dunned by bill collectors, and he doesn't have to fret
Though the cost of living's soaring; what he wants he's sure to get.
He can order from his tailor three or four suits at a time,
And he tips the waiters dollars where another tips a dime;
But he really isn't happy as he motors round the town,
For his daughter contradicts him and his new wife calls him down.

O, it's folly to sit yearning for another fellow's lot,
For he's sure to have some worries that perhaps afflict you not;
And it's folly now to wish for any other fellow's place,
For it's certain he has troubles that would make you
sour of face; And the man who 's worth a million maybe wants to be a clown
When his daughter contradicts him and his new wife calls him down.